You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
