dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
