you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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