i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
