Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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