3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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