Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
