what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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