I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
