Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
