Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
