dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Vodka?
Forever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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