So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
