the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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