Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
