erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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