you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize