I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
