I can tuck mytits in my pants
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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