at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize