We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
