On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
