I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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