White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
