smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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