How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
