Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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