she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
