porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
