i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's never too late to be topless.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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