Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
