I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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