this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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