Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
