We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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