People with herpes should wear stickers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
