Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
