I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
