I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
