Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
