Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
