VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Let's get the cat blown out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
