Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
