Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
