I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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