So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
