it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
