It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
