I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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