is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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